Monday, January 2, 2012

Right this way.....

The high spirits of Christmas and New Year are now precipitously behind us. I am parenthetically thankful not to have to regard the time through foggy eyes nor stupidly question what happened by shaking myself to consciousness. The sudden disappearance of the enchanted indicia of Christmas and the New Year leaves one questioning both its reality and utility. I imagine children have a better time rationalizing it. The sobering effect upon adults is likely less convincing. Perhaps the world-wide fixation upon debt reduction spared some people the hang-over response to the habitual indulgences.
In any event I am eager about what is to come. The past year gave me a peek at a new prospect. In its distilled form it is about independence. While I have discovered that liberation comes at a cost, the relief from the former obligations far outweighs the paper losses. If only as a matter of experimentation I am anxious to prolong my triumphs. There is besides an adventure to it. It is a small compliment that I have worked at the same business for thirty-seven years but I consider that questionable achievement entitles me to take things into my own hands at last. My affairs are by design now so simple that it requires very little imagination to create a template even though there are occasionally lingering doubts about its workability. On the balance however I believe I have formulated a plan which is fecund. There is as I say no great intellect at work here, merely simple rules of the road. It has to be one of the advantages of aging that succinctness wins in the end.

There is one other advantage of aging, and that is that one has had the opportunity to try just about everything. What a trial it must be for thinking, younger people to have to make the choices which I have succeeded in delaying a generation! Small wonder my own conclusions are so easily wrought! As a result they hardly bear notice much less applause. Nonetheless I am personally very proud of having salvaged the prize from the fire (and I confess to a degree of smugness at having beaten the devil in that regard). But time is running out (and that is the wild card of youth) so diligence is by now imperative for me. I do not regret the necessity to be conscientious; I do not view it with the resignation of the prisoner awaiting his punishment. Rather it heralds an opportunity, an exploit which I may perhaps turn to an escapade. There is no question that the novelty of the affair makes it an exploration of sorts and that of course contributes to its vitality.

Everything I can recall about distinguished people whom I have known or read about is that they are guided by the most elemental theories. Naturally none of them is ever completely free of personal hardship, defeat, loss or other dispossession, but in spite of those accommodations they prove themselves able to ply the waters upon which their barque is carried. It is easy to be diverted from one’s purpose by any number of abstractions. For example, whenever I find myself relishing the pleasure of living I wonder at the same time whether I am being too entirely fanciful about it. Only a fool can imagine that this planet is not a mishmash of victory and suffering. Yet aside from keeping a wary eye upon the road, it is better to press on undeterred. The rudimentary sign posts are the ones by which to be steered. To a degree the answer is capitulation though that sounds almost mindless. On the other hand, resisting the obvious can spell devastation. Given proper attention I think each of us will discern whither we go.

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